Director's
Statement
If we lived in
a world without wars, poverty, racism and sexism, dramatic disparities
in material conditions, political deception and so on, would
there be people who suffer from clinical depression, depressive
disorders or other "mental disorders." Would over 30,000
people still commit suicide each year? These questions about
clinical depression and suicide are raised by the title of the
film we don't live under NORMAL CONDITIONS.
A number of years
ago, suffering from depression and thoughts of suicide myself,
and angry that all the books and articles on depression at that
time trumpeted biological causes, I decided to make a film that
looked at the broader social issues that I knew caused me a great
deal of despair. So I brought together six people from different
walks of life who suffered from depression or despair. I sequestered
them away for three days and asked them to talk about society
and despair.
The result is a
gripping, and at times painful, documentary that is also, not
so surprisingly, inspiring. Suffering in silence only worsens
depression. Trying to put on a good face, when inside you're
in pain, feeds depression. Talking about your depression, in
a group with others who have shared the experience, is healing.
Talking about some of the causes of depression, that exist outside
of our brain chemistry, can be empowering. Empowering, because
we can change our relationship to things outside of ourselves.
We can change our attitudes. We can come to accept things that
we can't control. And become active in changing those things
we can.
The group that
came together for this film offers a particular brand of wisdom
that derives from their own personal experiences with depression.
I deliberately chose not to include the traditional experts in
the film. No doctors or therapists. In my estimation, the "patients"
themselves are the experts in their own experience. They talk
eloquently about depression, suicide, racism, the "house
of power" that is the mental health system today. Sonja
talks about her fear of institutions that have the power to discriminate
against her as a lesbian woman and a lesbian mother. This fear
prevents her from seeking help from traditional mental health
resources. Alex has a different take. "I'm so far removed
from that house of power," she says, "I don't really
worry about being perceived as abnormal, as in they might lock
me up against my will or they might take something away from
me. As a Black woman, I'm not even supposed to be here. It's
clear so many places that I'm not even supposed to make it. So
you're going to think I'm crazy? That's like the least of my
worries. I'm not even seen."
Kris would like
to see a wellness model, a framework that doesn't pathologize
the outer edges on the spectrum of normal human behavior, "as
opposed to what the DSM IV is always referring to, the sickness,
the dysfunction, the pathology. To focus on our resilience and
the healing powers that we have is very empowering. But for me
to tell you how sick you are and put a lot of labels on you is
not going to motivate you to feel better about yourself."
Talking about predetermination or predisposition, she goes on,
"Psychiatry will say that there's a predisposition to X,
Y and Z. And it's very different to say someone has a predisposition
to sleep disorders as opposed to saying I do my best thinking
or I'm most creative in the middle of the night. That's two completely
different ways of describing the same experience."
Winnie, not denying
the dangers of labeling someone as predisposed to a particular
disorder, counters with the realities of major depression. "I
think it goes back to what's normal and what's not normal. When
does somebody become so depressed, they can't make it ten feet
across the room to go to the bathroom because they have no energy.
They can't get up and take a shower because they have no will.
They don't want to live at all. And I think at that point it
doesn't really matter whether you call the person normal or abnormal,
it's can you keep them alive?"
There is some debate
amongst the participants in the film about the pros and cons
of therapy for depression. Several would like to become therapists
(and indeed have, subsequent to the film's completion). Sonja's
experience suggests that her therapist discounted the broader
world and believed that Sonja's anger about capitalism and imperialism
stemmed from their symbolic relationship to her mother and father.
Another group member suggests that this was just "bad therapy."
In any case it alienated Sonja sufficiently that she quit.
Sandra would like
to empower individuals while acknowledging the social context
in which they develop. "I do believe in the power of empowering
people. But I want to put into perspective why someone who comes
from Latin America to this country-not from Europe, but from
Latin America-and is having a hard time learning English, why
their self-esteem is trashed. As opposed to, if somebody comes
from France or Germany, and they sound cute."
The making of this
film was healing for me. I found a means through the group's
experience to share my own internal experience, and that is very
powerful. It is why good therapy can be so valuable. And why
the stigma of depression in our society is so harmful. Cheer
up, lighten up, pull yourself out of it. These types of statements
always make depression worse. Denying my own true experience
is always harmful. I am a sensitive person. I care about the
world. I get depressed. Less frequently now than in years past.
And as Sandra says,
"If you look around, with your eyes open, and you don't
feel the pain, I think there is something wrong, with you."
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